A little while ago, I started a Women in Fellowship group. We are currently studying Divine Mercy and our conversations have been so rich and moving. We have begun to say the Chaplet and our understanding seems to deepen with each discussion.
But, this week, it was a bit different. We became stuck on the theology and our understanding related to a line in the Chaplet. I turned to a friend of mine, Fr Neil, for an explanation that I could pass on to the other women. Not only have I spoken to Father about it, but I now have a written version of his thoughts - and still I am struggling to understand.
So, drop it? Nope. Take on the advice of Mother Mary. Ponder it in my heart. Allow understanding to dawn for however long it takes. I will keep it in my prayers. I will read Father's e-mail each day with a prayerful heart. And I will wait.
Sometimes, in doing this, I get a break through! And it is so rewarding - but I promptly forget an hour later what I had just understood. Ughhhh. So, I ask for God's patience as I continue to ponder, waiting for a deeper understanding.
I know all of this - I've been down this road before. But a part of me would rather be like my Nana. She just believed. She never thought about the theology behind the belief. She just believed. So, this time, I will start with belief. Then I will ask for understanding .....
