Prayer first .....
I am currently taking an online course on Divine Mercy with GoodCatholic.com. I love their courses! I have taken eleven courses with them and have saved all the notes and videos. I go back to them over and over again.
I was especially moved by one of the lessons about St Faustina's diary and how to use it for reflection. In the lecture, the writer speaks about St Faustina's disappointment when she brings her struggles to her fellow sisters and leaves feeling empty and unsatisfied. This made me sit up and take notice.
When I am struggling with things, I like to talk things through. With anyone who will listen! Afterwards, I never truly feel ready to move on. I begin to search for someone else to burden with my struggles. It is like a circle that I cannot exit. Round and round. And always there is a sense of regret for having spoken so harshly about someone or something. Truly, not the path I want to be on and definitely not the road Jesus has set before me.
But the lecture reflects on St Faustina's further writing - others may leave us feeling empty and dissatisfied but God never does!
Over and over in my life, I finally take a problem to prayer. Always after I have emptied my heart to God, I feel, somehow, lighter! I feel that I now need to just wait for the knot to be smoothed, the issue resolved. I watch for the promptings of the Spirit, but I do so with a heart that is full of love for Him and a confidence that I will receive the graces and the gifts that I will need to deal with my struggles.
The big question I am asking, following this lecture, is: Why don't I remember to pray first?
That, my dear friends, is something I need to pray on .....